On a serious note....

I have been talking to Jessica about a friend of hers that is dealing with some very difficult health problems that probably will be fatal. Jessica’s roommate is getting married in the near future. These two women are having very different life experiences. We know that the Lord will make it fair, in the eternal scheme of things, but that doesn’t diminish my sympathy for the one who has to suffer.
As I was pondering this idea, I thought about my own life and how happy I am. I wonder why I am so fortunate to have had parents who loved me and cared for me, food, clothes, shelter, freedom, the ability to enjoy my senses, a loving wife and wonderful children and grandchildren, great in-laws, the ability to think and work, a relatively healthy life and “a peace that passeth all understanding” that only the gospel gives.
I just read a book that Scott’s dad gave them for a wedding present called Things that Matter Most, by Lowell Bennion. He discussed the things that he valued and our lists were very similar. I would guess that would be the case for most LDS people.
As I was contemplating my blessings and my challenges, I came to a startling conclusion. If someone offered to give me a strong, healthy heart in exchange for what I have experienced in the last six years, I would say, “ABSOLUTELY NOT!”
About six years ago, I received “a change of heart” as described in the Book of Mormon. I had been a faithful Latter-day Saint, served a mission, married in the temple and served as a Bishop. I had taught, counseled and lead as a believer. My problem was that my heart was hardened to seeing my weakness. I always had to blame someone else for my anger and my other shortcomings. I was excellent at justifying my behavior and making others out to be the cause of problems. I deeply regret how I treated (and thought of) others, especially Sue and my children.
The good news is that I have a new heart. I am not perfect and I still do dumb things but now I recognize them and, given time, will deal with my bad behavior. I now understand how I can “love my enemy” and what I need to do to become more like the Savior.
I am grateful for all of you and the patience you have with me.